Here are some of the key etiquette points to absorbe, should your character have use for them - or for breaking them. One can get far with simple common courtesy, but it is the nuances and details that truly make a socialite or a noble."

 

General Rules of Etiquette

• Never point at another person.

• Never wantonly frighten others.

• Never make yourself the hero of your own story.

• Never pick your teeth or clean your nails in company.

• Never question a servant or a child about family matters.

• Never call attention to the features or form of anyone present. 

• Never seem to notice a scar, wound, deformity, or defect of anyone present.

• Never fail to offer the easiest and best seat in the room to an invalid, an elderly person, or a lady.

 

Introductions

• Please apply titles when making introductions (Honorable, Reverend, Professor, etc.) For example, in introducing a clergyman to a local official, it is proper to say: “Mr. Nicks, permit me to present to you the Reverend Mr. Miller.” Addressing Mr. Nicks, he says: “Mr. Miller is the pastor of the Antioch Fellowship Church at Sedalia, Missouri.” Addressing Mr. Miller, he continues : “ Mr. Nicks is at present the Director of Parks and Recreation for the City of Lenexa.”

• To approach someone in a boisterous manner, saying, “Hello, Old Fellow!,” “Hello Bob” or using kindred expressions, indicates ill-breeding. If approached, however, in this vulgar manner , it is better to give a civil reply, and address that person respectfully, in which case he is quite likely to be ashamed of his own conduct.

• Husbands and wives indicate pleasant conjugal relation existing when they address each other in the family circle by their Christian names, though the terms of respect, “Mr.” and “Mrs.,” may be applied to each among strangers.

 

The Etiquette of Conversation

• Be cool, collected, and self-possessed, using respectful, chaste, and appropriate language.  

• Recollect that the object of conversation is to entertain and amuse.

• Do not, when narrating an incident, continually say “you see,” “you know,” etc.

• Do not use profanity, vulgar terms, slang, phrases, or words of double meaning, or language that will bring the blush to any person.

• Do not intersperse your language with fancy foreign words. It shows affectation, and will draw ridicule upon you.

• Do not make a pretense of gentility, nor parade the fact that you are a descendant of any notable family. You must pass for just what you are, and must stand on your own merit.

• Do not make a parade of being acquainted with distinguished or wealthy people, or having been to college, or of having visited foreign lands. All this is no evidence of any real genuine worth on your part.

• Do not attempt to pry into the private affairs of others by asking what their profits are, what things cost, whether Melissa ever “had a beau,” and why Edward never got married.

• Do not indulge in satire.

• Never will a gentleman or lady allude to conquests which they may have made.

 

The Language of the Fan 

• Carrying in the right hand, front of the face = follow me.

• Drawing across the forehead – We are being watched.

• Drawing it through the hand = I hate you.

• Drawing it across the cheek = I love you.

• Letting it rest on the right cheek = yes.

• Letting it rest on the left cheek = No.

• With handle to lips = Kiss me.

• Open wide = Wait for me.

 

Etiquette of Shaking Hands. 

• Present a cordial grasp and clasp the hand firmly, shaking it warmly for a period of two or three seconds, and then relinquishing the grasp entirely. It is rude to grasp the hand very tightly or to shake it over-vigorously. To hold it a very long time is often very embarrassing, and is a breach of etiquette.

• In shaking hands, as a evidence of cordiality, regard, and respect, offer the right hand, unless the same be engaged; in such a case, apologize, by saying “Excuse my left hand.” It is the right hand that carries the sword in the time of war, and its extension is emblematic of friendliness in time of peace.

• When meeting a fellow member of a society, it is customary to acknowledge them in a discrete fashion, as through a correct gesture or handshake. But to draw attention to such shows affectation and is to be avoided.